I was reluctant to tackle this topic in writing because I know it can be sensitive.
And there are so many directions I’d like to take it, so consider this part one of a series of posts.
I have a lot of thoughts, and I have a lot more research to do.
What I do know is that body image is a struggle for most women (and some men, too), and it’s interesting that sports – yes, moving our bodies and exercising – is a big reason why so many of us struggle.
Barbie and ‘Ideal’ Body Image
As I sit in a hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky, CBS Saturday Morning news just reminded me that Barbie was introduced on March 9th, 1959, making the day I write this post “Barbie Day.”
If that’s not a sign to process some thoughts about aesthetic ideals, then I don’t know what is.
But first, let me explain more about why this topic feels hard to write about:
- I suffered with negative body image
- I worry this conversation can be triggering and I do not want to do more harm than good
- I worry that if we don’t have this conversation that the cycle of poor choices in sports surrounding this topic will continue.
But, the older I get, I’m reminded that I am one of many, many, women who went from a happy-go-lucky, blissfully unaware girl, to a tween, a teen and eventually a young woman who picked apart every inch of herself.
The flip side of this is rare. When I meet a woman who is very secure in her body I look at her in awe.
I think: How did you do it??
The Barbie Evolution
I loved Barbie as a girl, and I love Barbie now.
Moreso, I love what Barbie has become. I love the evolution. I don’t know who to credit for this, but someone in a Mattel boardroom somewhere said, “This has to stop,” and I applaud them with great enthusiasm.
In an effort to take a tiny-waisted blonde-ponied, unachievable-shaped “mega babe” and move toward a stronger representation of reality, Barbie has curves now. Newer Barbie dolls have interesting hair, dynamic careers, and they have emotional monologues on the big screen.
They even have….CELLULITE!
Bodies on Display in Sports
Growing up in figure skating, I unknowingly entered a pressure cooker of body image that would not reach full voltage until my teen years.
Genetically I fared really well as a little girl – I don’t recall ever feeling anything other than – as I mentioned above – “blissfully unaware” in my body, until around age 14.
But in sports like figure skating, swimming and gymnastics, we tend to be a bit “on display.”
OK, scratch that. VERY on display.
Lycra and spandex cling to every little fold, accentuating the lack of smoothness or showcasing any bits of fluff that cover our muscles.
My first dimple of cellulite that showed through my Danskin tights was my first sip of shame and embarrassment.
What did I do wrong?
Michelle Kwan didn’t have a dimple.
The Impact of Too Much Attention on Athlete’s Bodies
There were seasons in skating when I was celebrated for “looking amazing.”
There were seasons in skating when I was urged to wear darker colors (in an attempt to camouflage perceived “flaws.”)
In sports where your body weight and composition directly impact your velocity and flight time, every little bit “counts” in the mathematical equation.
But, the harsh reality is that many athletes in aesthetic sports face an expectation that is unattainable for their genetics. And trying to attain that kind of image can be detrimental to their long-term view of what it means to live in the body they were born with.
I also believe the expectation of a “perfect body” can be a barrier to entry.
I have had this conversation with parents, and it breaks my heart. Parents are so much more tuned-into this topic than they were in the 80s and 90s, so they may approach me and say something like, “I’m not sure if this is the best sport for my daughter. … You know, all that pressure.”
In my own experience, I was able to stay “lean” and “small” until puberty (which happened for me on the later side).
Then some added roundness, although still well within the realm of healthy, caused me to spiral. I believed the way I looked was something I could control. And so all of this started a cycle of self-criticism and negative self-talk.
I lost a lot of my confidence and struggled with performing as my attention was derailed by how I looked.
How We Talk About Athlete’s Bodies
In her new book, Olympic figure skater Gracie Gold speaks openly about how a few comments here and there from her coach regarding the size of her body set her on a path that snowballed into restriction, control, and overemphasis on comparing her body to other skaters’ bodies.
From there, the snowballs accumulated and avalanched into a full-blown eating disorder. It’s devastating to read about her experience, and I am in awe of her bravery.
I wish her story was a rarity, but as long as I’ve been in figure skating, I’ve witnessed these off-the-cuff comments and experienced a few first-hand as well.
I find myself asking, if this behavior happened in my generation, and continued into her generation, what path are we on here?
I love that skating defies the limits – that athletes can take the physical challenges and push through to set new records – to master triple axels and quad jumps.
It’s incredible, but the question that remains is… AT WHAT COST?
Comments About Bodies Plant Seeds
Is there a way to escape aesthetic sports with a positive body image?
Even if there is, upon retirement, a new problem awaits. When the rigorous training is no more, when the discipline and schedules cease to exist in the same capacity, bodies respond to these changes.
While that may not be the case for all athletes who suffer from negative body image, the research shows us that negative body image is very much responsible for young female athletes leaving sports altogether.
Negative body image is also an identifying factor for developing an eating disorder.
A dietician I follow who teaches gymnasts about the dangers of under-fueling recently wrote about how commenting on small and “cute” bodies, even when athletes are young, can plant a seed for dangerous ramifications down the line.
So what can we do?
Can we train all coaches who work with young girls to not comment on body appearance?
Gracie Gold, who went on to achieve so much success, including winning an Olympic bronze medal, recalls in her book a coach saying to her something along the lines of, “Your butt has gotten bigger.”
It sounds like he has been extremely apologetic and worked to mend their relationship, but this is just one example of many.
Most comments like these never make it into a New York Times Bestseller.
Words Matter
One of my strategies when I’m consulting with other coaches is to remind them that first, they are just as important to an athlete as a parental figure, and second, this is the season they have access to.
I ask:
What do you want this athlete to remember in 10 years when they are an adult, living on their own and building upon the foundation that is being set NOW?
We can’t get it all right. That would be impossible. I know that as a former coach, I didn’t.
But we need to have awareness of how much our words matter.
Parents Can Model Body Acceptance
Parents have responsibility too – and not just in regard to what they say, but also when it comes to what they model.
Coming from a childhood household full of Lean Cuisines, Snackwells “low-fat” cookies and grapefruit and bacon (what I call the Holy Grail of restriction in the 90s) I can attest to the fact that modeling matters.
Again, none of us are perfect, but we know that exposure to diets and restrictions within the home can be a precursor to a negative body image.
How Can We Help Young Athletes with Body Image?
When we talk about body image and athletics, there are a lot of potential resources to think about:
Nutritionists and Dieticians
Can we bring in nutritionists and dieticians sooner?
YES. I think it can be helpful to partner with professionals who offer impactful and effective messaging that is not all about restriction and dieting.
I am unlearning and relearning a lot about how to talk about food and look to food for my own well-being.
I also need help articulating that certain foods may not be helpful as practice-fuel. Maybe language that helps guide athletes toward informed choices during training could be better delivered by someone who specializes in it?
Social Media
Can we control the social media messaging and the damaging standards that are perched high atop the apps that pre-teens use as a benchmark?
Probably not.
But when athletes have encouraging, positive, healthy support systems, strangers on the internet have less power.
Training for Coaches
Can we increase training for coaches and trainers to help them recognize disordered eating patterns?
In my current role as a mental performance coach and sport psychology consultant, I am always looking for red flags of disordered eating. These symptoms do not always jump out – and depending on the scenario and the severity, this can be a very, very emotional topic for an athlete.
But if we aren’t looking for signs of eating disorders, we certainly will not find them.
Mental Performance Coaches and Sports Psychologists
Can we create space for this conversation to happen with Mental Performance Coaches and Sports Psychologists earlier on in the development of young athletes?
YES. Ignoring this issue is like shoving a used Kleenex back in the box. Sooner or later it’s going to get pulled out, and it’s gross.
If I get nothing else across in this blog post, I want to make it clear that we have to address the issue of body image head-on.
What if athletes were equipped with strategies to stop comparison, dig deep and remember that their path, their body, and their mind is unique to them? And that all of these are superpowers when used for good?
We Need to Do Better
As Maya Angelou said:
“Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.”
Friends – we know better.
In my sport of figure skating, I worry that the “ideal” skater body is limiting us and keeping us from evolving like Barbie has.
I speak a lot on the topic of limiting belief systems and how they can negatively influence us as we move through our sports.
As I wrote about Deanna Stellato, who recently won the World Figure Skating Championships Pairs event (at the age of 40!!) along with partner Maxime Deschamps, I was thinking about how much the sport of skating has changed in the last 40 years.
Skates are made to be lighter and to help increase agility. They are now shorter on the ankle. All of these changes allow skaters to help accomplish feats that were unheard of when I was skating.
It makes sense to consider that pressure to have what has long been thought of as an ‘ideal’ skater body may mean the sport is limiting itself. Older skaters’ bodies may not look like teen frames, but they may be stronger, with more muscle mass.
Embracing more than one very specific type of body could mean that athletes could stay in a sport like skating longer. And that would give skaters more time and options to meet goals.
So when it comes to body image in sports, we need to ask ourselves:
How are we doing better, because we do actually know better.
Can we keep this conversation going? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
