“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”
– Joseph Campbell
I was sitting in my therapist’s office not too long after I graduated from my Master’s Degree program.
I was rambling along about how now I had my degree – I had done the “hard” part – but how to start my own practice wasn’t exactly a course in the curriculum.
I’ve always said I’m a coachable person. I love having a coach, and when left to my own devices I tend to overthink and flounder.
When I was a young figure skater, I loved nothing more than simple, direct coaching: “Do five more double loops before the session is over.”
Got it, said little Kelly.
Creating Your Own Safety Net
Sitting in that office I muttered, “I just want to make sure I’m doing everything as I should … I know there is a way, but…”
And that is when she cut me off with Joseph Campbell’s beautiful quote.
It’s somewhat reminiscent of Dr. Martin Luther King’s quote:
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Growing up my mom’s point of view was always, “Take the leap and build your wings on the way down.”
I kind of interpreted that as a free-fall, but she would be the landing pad… as a kid it felt good to know she had the net.
But as adults, we sometimes have to create our own net.
Great Achievements Require Risk
What I’m getting at here is that all great things usually involve some risk.
When we think about a lifelong love of sports, how do we ever know if the path we’re on is the “best” one?
What chances are worth taking?
When do we go “all in” and when do we “wait it out?”
We have to take risks, or else we end up stuck.
So we have to take steps. They may not be “right,” but they will be yours.
And the we go on from there with new lessons and new information in our back pocket.
Creating A Path in Youth Athletics
As a mom to two young athletic boys who are very involved in sports, I find it almost unnerving how much my husband has had to navigate to make sure they are on the “right” path.
The boys love it, and we’ve always said “one year at a time” – but if you’re in youth sports, you know that each year becomes a bit more involved, there’s a bit more of a commitment… more, more, more.
We’re lucky to know amazing people who have blazed a trail in baseball, basketball and football around these parts and have generously shared so much information to help us make decisions for our boys.
But I’m reminded time and time again in my role as a mental performance coach that athletes can’t have a path all laid out like yellow bricks leading to Oz. Rarely does everything actually just fall into formation.
I don’t remember Dorothy doing quite so many pivots and hairpin turns in those ruby shoes.
The Path Through Injury
I have an athlete I work with who is currently injured and has had to withdraw from two upcoming competitions.
This was not part of the plan.
Her goals will need to be re-evaluated for the season. The path she had eyed pre-injury is now a mirage.
But I know this athlete is working through this with grace and resiliency and an awareness of how her mindset is really crucial to her next steps.
Navigating ‘Aging Out’ in Youth Sports
This concept of a “path” in youth sports may garner a bit of criticism given that there are rules and eligibility windows. Sometimes the path is a bit constricting just by the very nature of youth sports in our country.
I think often that’s where the pressure cooker feeling emerges… an athlete must get x done by y.
As a figure skating coach, I often worked toward reaching milestones before a skater “aged out” – which now makes me cringe a bit.
Figure skating has really made some wonderful changes to age requirements and added more choices and paths in the past ten years.
That gives me hope for the sport as a whole, but there is still work to do to break the stigmas and limiting beliefs, such as “you’re too old to do triple revolution jumps.”
Blazing a New Path
At 40 years old, Deanna Stellato-Dudek, is blazing an unfamiliar path in figure skating – competing at the World level representing Team Canada.
And she’s not just competing; but thriving, dominating and Olympic bound.
Her story is inspirational for so many reasons, but for individual athletes in sports like figure skating and gymnastics – she is a comeback – and a snapback at the limiting beliefs we have maybe given too much power for way too long.
My generation was told that figure skaters had a “window” and if that window closed, our dreams were over. The message was “You can’t skate at this level past college.”
And so, as a young athlete, I thought I was following a path that was mine, but I can see now that it was doused in a good bit of “this is just how it is.”
That makes me want to shout Joseph Campbell’s quote from the rooftops:
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”
A Different Kind of Dedication
Stories like Deanna’s do not emerge from cookie-cutter carbon copy choices. They come from an athlete taking risks, fully following their heart and operating on their own terms.
This is a different kind of dedication – walking into a place where no one has been before.
Allowing the Path to Unfold
In sports we can find inspiration.
But my hope is to help athletes feel inspired AND stay CURIOUS as to how they can find their own path. We don’t need to always follow footsteps, and we CAN’T when life gives us drastically different circumstances.
As a parent and coach, I find this framing refreshing. It lets us loosen the reigns, and allow the ebb and flow of sport to unfold in a more organic way.
Could this approach lead to less burnout? Could we cool the pressure cooker just a tad?
We always say that sports can teach so many beautiful life lessons.
LIFE is the keyword there.
A life is so much more than that tiny window of baby steps until college.
When you or your athlete is frustrated with their current set of circumstances, I urge you to remind them that there is no one path to greatness.
Let’s help this generation of athletes redefine what it means to be great.
